Keith200th Blog post edition. YES, it’s our 200th birthday… Sometimes it got very sweaty writing all this stuff in my dark, dank writing dungeon, especially 200 of them, this was kind of like writing 7 x 30,000 word books.. .but I am grateful that I haven’t worn my fingers down to the bone and both of my arms are still the same length….
Anyway, I digress…
“The Art of persuasion. How To Command Respect And Be Admired” That might sound like a very tall order but in reality it’s not. After all, shouldn’t we respect each other?. Shouldn’t we admire the progress of others and ourselves as we make it through this life?. I think so…
Before we start, I want to emphasise the importance of using persuasion for good only. Please don’t try to trick people or make them feel bad. Persuasion can be a wonderful thing if used properly.
The Art Of Persuasion – Blair Warren
If you want a deep-dive into everything persuasive I suggest reading Blair Warren’s Forbidden Keys To Persuasion e-Class if it’s still available.
Blair Warren states: People will do anything for people who:
- Encourage their dreams
- Justify their failures
- Allay their fears
- Confirm their suspicions
- Help them throw rocks at their enemies.
Let’s take these one at a time:
No 1. Encourage their dreams. People are sick and tired of all the moaners and negative ninnies out there. A refreshing change is someone who encourages you. Someone who wants to genuinely see you succeed. Successful people want others to succeed too.
No 2. Justify their failures. Let’s face it, no one likes to be told off, embarrassed, or put to shame. You have to be a bit of a tactician when dealing with people. Although some people do love strait-talkers, people don’t generally like to be reminded of their failings. To get people onside, highlight their strengths, not their shortcomings. People will listen to you all day long if you highlight people’s good side… and most people have a good side..
No 3. Allay their fears. If you can keep calm when all around you is collapsing, you are a hero, you can also help others to keep calm and be a hero too. The pace of the world is hectic, it can be a lonely, frightening place for some, having you as a friend and a rock of support can make someone’s world. Never underestimate the power of true friendship. A calming influence can speak volumes about you.
No 4. Confirm their suspicions. People are naturally inquisitive and mildly suspicious. This doesn’t make them wrong. If you agree with their suspicions you immediately form a bond with that person. People like people who like them, or are like them. That warm feeling you get in your stomach when you meet a person on your wavelength is that “gut feeling” that you are on an equal par with this person. You like them and you don’t even know why…
No 5. Help them throw rocks at their enemies. This is a strange one but it really goes beyond just allaying their fears. People love people who can help them get back at their “enemies”. Now, this doesn’t mean harming people, it means supporting this person. It can be as simple as helping people overcome a simple enemy such as a lack of confidence, or getting over the habit of procrastination.
The Art Of Persuasion – Training People In “How To Treat You”
This is a very important section of this post. No article on persuasion is truly complete if it doesn’t show you how you can master the art of being treated. In the title of this post I mention “How To Command Respect And Be Admired”
Let’s be honest. We all like to be acknowledged, made to feel special, respected, liked and be admired. The way we do this is to give people a reason to do this in the first place (obvious).
First of all, we have to train people properly. I know this sounds strange but it’s perfectly true. If people are mistreating you, taking advantage, or hating on you, often or not it’s because we have not mastered the art of training people properly. People often have a default way of treating anyone, you have to jar them out of that complacency.
So, how can we change the way people treat us?
Tip 1. People tend to want things that are not available. There is nothing more interesting than something we can’t have. Human nature somehow discounts things that they can readily have. A good example of this is a long-term married couple. Perhaps at stage one, the honeymoon period, it was all lovey-dovey.
Then as time went by, the excitement and the “newness” of the event started to wane. Many couples (around 50%) get divorced or end up living wretched lives hardly ever speaking to each other, or worse, experiencing domestic abuse.. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all married couples. But, you do get my point.
The same old things get boring. Life was never intended to be a daily repeat, sometimes you have to mix it up a bit to keep it interesting. Imagine if you appeared on Facebook every day and said and did the very same thing, people’s toes would soon start to curl with boredom.
Tips To Take Back Your Life
Tip. 1. Decide whether that person is adding or taking value away from your life. Life is a relatively short experience, don’t spend it cowering to the whims of, or feeding the ego of others. sometimes you can get too comfortable in life and even when the situation around you is uncomfortable, you have become comfortable with it. Some people would never leave a partner, no matter how bad things have become, because they fear life without them.
Tip 2. Have people come to you. don’t make yourself readily available to everyone. People tend to take advantage of someone who is always readily available. If people phone or text you, don’t always answer immediately, you set your own terms. In fact you don’t always have to answer at all. If it’s important, they’ll get back to you. Contact people in your own time, you are not on-call to anyone, you set the pace.
Tip 3. Create mystery. People love to solve puzzles, especially human ones. If you create yourself as an enigma, people will find you far more fun. Don’t be an open book, people like mystery, they find mysterious people fascinating. The idea is to be pursued, not to keep pursuing people.
Tip 4. The best way to get someone’s attention is to no longer want it. This strikes at the heart of the human psyche as people love the attention of others and strangely, they also find a person’s lack of attention to them, fascinating.
Tip 5. Remember this?
People will do anything for people who:
- Encourage their dreams
- Justify their failures
- Allay their fears
- Confirm their suspicions
- Help them throw rocks at their enemies.
This is how you become super-attractive to others. Attraction is far more than physical attraction. Genetics can help, but most of the attractor factor is down to what value a person sees in you, in other words, “what’s in it for them“. Although we often pretend that we are not self-serving or selfish, we weigh up almost every situation first to find the advantage. This is only natural as we are trying to survive and thrive at the same time.
The Art Of Persuasion – Finally
To be respected and admired takes work. People are very quick to analyse the first impression you make. The human brain can compute your worthiness to a person in seconds. Life is made up of relationships, some good and perhaps a few bad ones too. We do sometimes have to “let it all go” and see what happens as we can’t control 100% of what happens to us, however..
We can elevate our lives beyond where they are going now by simply training people to treat us better. People don’t respect people who don’t respect themselves. Confidence comes from within and we can all learn to be better people
Almost anything can be changed, but you do have to make the choice and take action. Doing the same things over and over won’t change anything. Don’t let people make you feel unworthy, there are plenty of negative, cynics out there who try to make you feel less than you are in order to gain power over you.
You are more, much more than that, you can create a new you any time you choose. Use the tips in this post to elevate yourself. If you’re tired of the same old life, change it, get better at being better, work on yourself every day…
Have a great day..
If you liked this post, leave a comment below, let me know your thoughts…
Keith
P.S People who liked this post also liked this one: 7 Mind Blowing Persuasion Techniques You Can Use To Persuade Anyone
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