I remember waking up in a hot sweat. It was a September night in 2001. At the time I was working two jobs, one driving a double decker bus during the day taking obnoxious school kids to school, and the other was an evening job working in a call centre.
My mind was racing, thinking about the 18yr old girl. She worked in the call centre, she was a tease, a flirt, but then so was I, she was beautiful, she also had a dark secret.
She Was 18, Brunette And Beautiful
We became very good friends. The age difference didn’t bother either of us, she seemed to have the World at her feet, constant attention from admirers, or so it seemed.
I’ve always said, you can learn something from anyone and everyone. There is a reason to make friends with people, it’s not just for the banter, the company, it’s also for the new experiences a person brings to your life. You start to see things from a different perspective instead of constantly just seeing things from your own .
This beautiful 18yr old girl had a dark secret. And I think it’s pretty common.
She used to have this habit of coming over to my desk and sitting on my lap. Not that I minded, but it used to distract me no end when I was talking to clients. One day she grabbed my phone and started going through my friends list. Bear in mind, in 2001 the phones weren’t like they are today.. it was just a long list of names and numbers..
So, in retaliation, I grabbed her phone and did the same to her. Wow, she must have had over 200 numbers in there. I smiled at her and I said, you must be popular, how do you find the time to chat to all these people?.
She was strangely quiet..
I tried again, “how do you find the time to chat to all these people”?. and then she said.
Oh, I just ask people fro their phone number, I might contact them or I might not. Most of them I wouldn’t hear from at all if I didn’t ring them. Here I was thinking this girl must be popular, but when it comes down to it, she’s being popular by design.
And this made me think. In fact on that hot September night I had a revelation. This is what went though my mind.
I wonder how many hot and popular people are only popular by design. How many people have to do all the legwork, the phoning, the contacting just to remain friends?. How many “friends” would drop by the wayside if you weren’t the one instigating all the contact.
Friends do drift apart, of course. And I think as we get older we also get more selective. I know I do, but this beautiful 18yr old had to do most of the leg work in order to keep up her popularity.
So, let me ask you a question.
How many of your friends actually make the effort to call you up and ask how you are?.
How many of your friends probably wouldn’t speak to you again if it wasn’t for you chasing them?
How many of your friends are real friends. The ones who don’t want something every time they call?
I don’t know about you, I would rather have a small group of real friends who really matter than a large group of “so called friends”. Invest your time in people that matter. Don’t waste valuable time on people who would never even dream of just phoning you up to ask “how are you? “
We can all learn something from someone else. That very popular person you see who seemingly has everything may be quite lonely deep inside. It’s easy to create the perception that everything is OK, especially with selective posting on Social Media.
She can be 18 and beautiful, but she still has to make the effort. If we all waited for everyone else to call us, we could wait forever. Think about someone you care about who you haven’t spoken to in a while and give them a call.
You might just be glad you did.
P.S let me know about your strange experiences with friends and so-called friends. Leave a comment below. If you got value from this post, why not share it?.
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