Human behavior can be weird at times.
We have an inherent desire to be liked, yet we ourselves don’t like everyone we come into contact with. Have you ever wondered why people don’t like you?, or why you don’t like them?, Do you care?
If you do, read on. If you don’t, then why are you here?.
To be liked or not to be liked, that is the question. Let’s be honest, even if you don’t care who likes you, I’m sure you’d like to know WHY it is people do or don’t like you, wouldn’t you?
The Reasons People Do Or Don’t Like You
You often hear people say, “I don’t care if no one likes me”,
but is this really true?,
- You probably care what your children think of you
- You probably care what your partner or spouse thinks of you
- You probably care what some members of your family think of you?
- You probably care what your customers think of you?
So, surely we care to a certain extent what people think of us?
Let’s be honest, even though we ourselves get fed up with certain people, having to live on this planet completely void of friends wouldn’t be a very enjoyable experience, would it?
Having friends can often be a refreshing and close bond outside of the family and on occasion can be even better than the family unit itself, especially if your family is of a highly critical nature.
When you first meet someone, what you say or do gets filtered through the lens of what’s going on in their personal life at this very moment in time, all people will view you differently.
Some people will like you straight away, others may not like you at all. They pick up a feeling from you based on all their senses. They may like you visually but are irritated by your voice, they may like the sound of you but are turned off by the visual.
We are all different and no one person appeals to everyone. However, we use our natural human filters to decide inwardly who we do or don’t want to be friends with that person and we often make that decision within seconds of meeting them.
What Makes A Good Friend?
If you asked me personally this question I would say a nonjudgmental person who’s got your back. I like people to be open and honest. Not all my friends are like me, but they tend to be positive people who just get on with their lives and don’t blame anyone else for their current situation.
I really can’t stand moaners, they tend to play the victim card all the time and make very little contribution to anyone or the world itself.
People tend to like people who are either like them or are someone they themselves would like to be like. We tend to look at potential friends and acquaintances as either being assets or liabilities, I know this sounds a bit clinical but it is often true.
Perhaps you make them laugh
Perhaps you make them feel good
Perhaps you are just good company
Whatever it is, nurturing a good friendship is a good investment as friends can contribute to good mental health and wellbeing. They also seem to make life a lot better.
As with anything, all relationships need maintenance. This might sound like hard work but it pays off in the end. If someone always makes the first move, in any relationship they will get tired of this. Be the one who calls, texts or shows up first sometimes. Show people you care every now and again and the relationship will probably last.
So, let’s recap:
- Friends tend to be people who think and act like you, or want to be like you.
- Although we say we don’t care what people think of us, this is often not true.
- Each friend will see you differently, depending on the current lens they are viewing you through.
- Friendships need maintaining. Don’t always expect them to make the first move
For more on making friends see Rebecca Collins’s wonderful book “How To Make Friends Easily”
I hope you go value from this post. If you did, please do share it and leave a comment below.
Have a great day