Keith Everett
self confidence

Self-Confidence, Is It Biting You In The A*s?

A very apt definition of self-confidence is “to converse intimately with”. In other words, if you have confidence in someone, you converse intimately with them. Taking this thought a step further, let’s apply this to ourselves.

Our internal dialogue is working 24/7, yes, even when we are asleep. What we say to ourselves internally determines the quality of our thoughts, which determines the quality of our actions, this determines our eventual habits and in the end, the quality of our lives.

We Are All Self Confident

We are ALL self-confident. BUT, what in? Many of us are self-confident that we will fail. Whatever you think of yourself determines how your life will pan out. The next time you stop and listen to your internal dialogue, ask yourself “Is this train of thought helping me to get to where I eventually want to go, or am I talking myself into a life of drudgery and failure?”.

Thoughts are things.. Be careful what you keep repeating to yourself. You are either programming yourself for success or failure..

How Can I Change The Way I Think?

The first step is awareness. Be aware of the way you talk to yourself. Don’t get me wrong, we all throw a bit of negativity into the mix every now and again, even the most confident people have their negative moments, but they don’t live there.

Be very aware of the words YOU use to describe yourself and your actions. If you keep on repeating to yourself phrases like “oh look what you’ve done now, you idiot” guess what? your subconscious mind will keep training you to think and perform like an idiot.

You need to change your pattern of thought, first, by catching the words you speak negatively to yourself and reversing the meaning. Instead of saying “oh look what you’ve done now, you idiot” say something like, “It’s OK, your human, everyone makes mistakes”

Doesn’t that “feel” better?

Self-Confidence works two ways, you can either be confident that you are destined to fail, in which case, you’ll achieve that, or you can start to reverse the internal language to a more positive level and prepare yourself for success.

People spend a fortune looking good on the outside, but very little on keeping their minds healthy. Bad thoughts lead to bad habits, which ultimately lead to bad decisions and failure. So here is the plan for thought reversal. Negative into positive.

Negative To Positive – The Plan

Step 1. Be aware of your thoughts. you can’t monitor every thought as you have thousands every day, but you can listen to your internal dialogue and catch any repetitive negative thoughts. “I’m a klutz”, “Oh, I’m an idiot” etc. We need to erase these and reverse the meaning.

Step 2. Analyze your surroundings. Who do you hang with the most?, are they negative?, are you turning into a version of them? – is that what you want? These are all questions you need to ask yourself. Are your surroundings adding or taking away from your success in life? Are your friends mostly negative?


If your friends and surroundings are not adding to the quality of your thoughts, this could be one reason why your thoughts or your life is stuck in a “negative bubble”. The answer is to see a lot less of those people. surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, not the worst.

Step 3. What information are you surrounding yourself with daily? If you spend your day constantly tuning in to the news channels, you’re bound to feel depressed. Yes, it’s probably a good idea to know what goes on in the world, but don’t immerse yourself in it.

The news channels report bad news. It’s rare to get a positive news story. The media give a false idea about the world. If all you hear is bad news, you tend to think the world is a bad place. It isn’t. The world reacts to you how you react to it. If you’re always looking for the bad in everything, you’ll always find it.

Read more. In fact, read a lot, there are plenty of books on self-development out there. These books are like medicine for the brain. Keep reading them daily and your thought patterns will soon begin to change. If you don’t like to read, listen to positive audiobooks.

Use Your Self-Confidence For Good

It’s very easy to get “stuck” in life. When things don’t go our way or life gets too predictable, we tend to respond by feeling down, or even depressed. We feel that our lives are stuck. You can kick-start your life at any time, no matter how you are feeling now. You can change your feelings by thinking better. Your thoughts are controlling your life. It may not seem like that at times as we are often looking for external circumstances to blame.

But, it’s true..

The truth is, that you control the way you think and feel. When you let others control you, you lose your power. Everyone and his cat want a piece of you, advertisers want you to buy their stuff, they try to convince you that your life will only get better if you buy their “stuff. Friends (or foes) want your advice. My advice is to look after yourself first.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first. This is a myth. If you don’t look after yourself, how can you look after others? People are watching you, people look up to you, are you proud of yourself?

People love self-confident people. People who lead and shine. Why?. because people need good role models to follow. Are you one?

Have a great day. Keep kicking A*s.


P.S People who liked this post, also liked this one. “Dream Big- Denzil Washington, Do You Have The Guts To Fail?

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