Did the art of conversation die?
The world is saturated with communication devices, but more and more people are lacking in the art of conversation. No wonder it is getting harder and harder to get people’s attention and even harder to keep it.
Getting people’s attention is the key to popularity, maintaining friendships, finding love, and getting wealthy, however, most people SUCK at it..
When trying to get someone’s attention, think first about the things that get YOUR attention. What hits your HOT buttons – Most of us have similar things that SCREAM Attention, Attention.. OR, maybe just flat-out turns us off…
If people are snoozing off to sleep every time you speak… listen up.
Some people just drone on and on until in the end it becomes unbearable and you have to make your excuses to leave. Let’s look at the HOT & COLD buttons that either get you MASSIVE attention or will get people running away from you at the sound of your voice.
HOT 1. The most important person in the world is you. If someone can massage your ego and talk about you, you go all fuzzy inside…. Aaaah. “How are you”, What have you been doing?”, How is that business of yours?”, “Where have you been lately?”. I think you get the idea..
HOT 2. People who treat you as an equal. Someone who talks “to you”, not down to you. Someone who waits until you finish the sentence before replying and isn’t constantly interrupting you with their opinions.
HOT 3. (and this may come as a surprise). People are attracted to people who no longer want their attention. Human nature has a habit of giving us the strange inclination of wanting things, or people we can’t have. The more unavailable someone (or something) becomes, the more attractive it is to us.
Hot 4. Someone who has an interesting voice tone or accent. Sometimes when you speak, you have to change the tones up and down. Listen carefully to your recorded voice, is it all on one level or does it rise and fall occasionally?. Is it enthusiastic or is it monotone and boring?. People love a voice with an enthusiastic tone, people love to feel inspired. Think of someone’s voice you love, if yours is a drag, remodel it on someone who has a more upbeat inspiring voice.
Cold 1. People who just talk about themselves. If you manage to get a word in with these bores, they can’t wait for you to finish so they can speak again. The conversation is all about them and you end up having a one-way conversation. They probably didn’t even ask you how you are.
Cold 2. People like those above in Cold 1, but they also talk down to you. They seem to have this superiority complex, which is really just an inferiority complex in disguise.
Cold 3. The opposite of people who don’t want your attention are people who always want your attention. These people are sycophantic and are always trying to butter you up. They constantly draw attention to what you are doing and can be very overpowering. Salesmen who can’t leave you alone when you enter a shop or car showroom come to mind and be a bit overpowering at times.
Cold 4. People who drone on and on. They speak in one tone of voice when they talk and often can’t hold an entire conversation. This is unfortunate but when you have to keep propping the conversation up, you know that the other person is just not asking enough questions to keep the conversation going and make it interesting Remember, the most important person is the person you are speaking to.
Cold 5. People who keep staring at their phones. This tells the other person just how unimportant they are. If you can’t hold a conversation without checking your phone, don’t hold one.
In order to get people’s attention, say something worthy of attention. If you are creating blog posts or ads, craft the headline to be the answer to your audience’s needs and wants, what are the benefits?
If you are selling to someone, see the conversation from their standpoint. Are you helping them to buy or are you turning them off. Are you letting your prospect see and feel the benefit of your product or are you just battering them over the head with it?
If you are having a conversation, is it of benefit to them, or just of benefit to you?. Conversations (or relationships) just don’t last if they are one-sided. Next time you have a conversation with someone, ask yourself what you are bringing to THEM, after all, it’s about them, not you.
I hope this post has been interesting. If it has, why not leave a comment below and share the post?.
Have a great day
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