Why Friends Don’t Talk To You Anymore

Friendships are a bit like the sea, they ebb and flow.

They say it takes two to have a conversation, this is true, but it only takes one to start it, and herein lies the rub. In this fast, madcap world, who’s got time to talk?.

Good friends come and go, some last, others don’t, but often it’s our fault. Communication shouldn’t be a thing of the past, it should be taught in schools, away from the ghosts of Snapchat, Tik Tok and Facebook.

I think social media has a lot to do with the death of communication. Although Facebook etc serves a purpose, it doesn’t replace those close relationships where people actually do things together. A Face to Face is more valuable than a message or text, and a chat by phone is better than a like on Facebook.

Although electronic devices have opened up the world, they have probably made people lazier when it comes to the effort of maintaining friendships. It’s so much simpler to just text or communicate via social Media.

Why Your Phone May Not Be That Smart

I remember listening to an 18yr old a few years back. She was very attractive and had a lot of people calling her. She told me once that she had over 200 “friends” in her phone’s address book. I once asked her how many of those people were “actual” friends…

I was shocked by her answer…

A handful, she said.

Most of the people in her phone were just acquaintances. She hadn’t met most of them. Many were people she had met online. In fact, most only called her if she had called them first and left a message to get back to her. What perhaps is most important at 18 is having a large social circle, but quantity isn’t everything.

We seem to feel “better connected” by the amount of people we know, rather than the quality of people we know. My guess is, if you know a 100 people, you probably only know a handful well enough to call them true friends, and from that handful, maybe only two or three call you regularly.

Some (annoyingly) always wait for you to call first.

Friends Till The End

So, what’s the answer?. Keep your real friends close, communicate with them, not just when it suits you, but when it suits them too. Call them, ask them how they are. Building friendships takes a bit of work, but 4 or 5 good friends beats a 100 associates any day of the week.

I couldn’t imagine a life without friends, good friends add to the quality of your life, but in my view it’s all about the quality, not the quantity. To have good friends you have to be a good friend, people who don’t or won’t communicate (properly) with others tend to end up lonely, if you’re always looking for someone else to make the first move, you’ll end up disappointed.

People are unpredictable and often go against your idea of “the flow”, live with people’s “quirks” and embrace their friendship, good friends are not easy to find.

Have a great day

Keith

P.S Making friends isn’t always easy, I have a full guide on the best way to do that here.. (or click the image below)