How To Stop Self Sabotage

Most people do it at some stage in their lives, but what exactly is self sabotage?. Self sabotage is where you undermine your own goals and values. In other words, you know what you should do but instead of doing that you do the opposite.

Examples of Self Sabotage

1. Knowing that you need to lose twenty pounds but you carry on eating those supersize Junk food meals.
2. You know that smoking is probably killing you, your 6 year old daughter begs you to stop but you carry on smoking anyway.
3. Knowing that you need more money, you also know how to make more money but you just don’t do it.

These are just three examples, but there are hundreds more. Self sabotage can be either conscious or unconscious. Conscious being that you know you are doing the thing that you shouldn’t and unconscious is when you did something without realising it till after the event.

For some people, it’s a very occasional thing that ends up having minor consequences. But for others, it’s a chronic pattern that can lead to major problems in their life, their work, and relationships.

Why Do People Self Sabotage ?

It often comes down to low self esteem, and lack of confidence in themselves, however there is not a one size fits all sign or solution to self sabotage. Everyone is different, however if you are heavily influenced by peers who also self sabotage it’s very likely that you will continue the trend.

Let’s be honest here. Success of any sorts is nearly always something that can be modelled and implemented by others. If I want to become a millionaire, I don’t look for a thousand reasons why I can’t do it, I look at people who have done it and I model what they do.

For people who self sabotage, they carry their low self esteem into the equation. In other words, they know what to do but often don’t do it anyway for fear of being wrong. People with confidence do things because they think it will happen.

If your parents had a failed relationship, the chances are in your relationship you will look for signs of failure and when you do that you will nearly always find them. The opposite of this of course is to find every way in your relationship where it will work and you make it work anyway.

Don’t ever give up on anything on the strength of a few failures. We all fail at some time, the difference is is we self sabotage ourselves we give up there and then whereas people who don’t self sabotage keep going until they get the result.

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How To Stop Self Sabotage

Don’t treat your past as a thing that defines your future. How you were then need not be how you are now. You grow, you learn, you let go of mistakes past and move forward with faith.

When you see a perfectly happy couple, was that person their very first love?. Maybe, but often or not it may be their second, third or even tenth attempt at true love. They had to try a few times before they got it right.

When you see a successful person in business, did they become a millionaire on their very first go?, probably not. Many people go through the most horrendous journey before they finally make it. You just have to keep going and not be afraid to fail a few times.

See yourself as the amazing person you really are. You made it into this world on the back of huge odds of ever being conceived and being the sperm that made it. Realise just how incredible you are, a living work of art.

My Checklist To Stop Self Sabotaging yourself

1. Don’t beat yourself up for self sabotaging. Be kind to yourself, try to understand why you do it. Is it the fear of failure, is it not feeling good enough?. Do you feel undeserving of success/happiness.?
2. Once you truly understand yourself and you feel that you know why you self sabotage, look for healthy alternatives to your behaviour. In other words if you are making yourself ill by drinking far too much alcohol, ask yourself – “What exactly am I trying to achieve by drinking so much”?, “What am I trying to forget or blot out of my life”?
3. Plan for obstacles to appear. This could be something as simple as removing yourself from a stressful situation instead of customarily reaching for a cigarette every time stress appears. It could mean expecting roadblocks on the road to Wealth, it could mean expect differences of opinion from your spouse. Plan for things to not go to plan.
4. Be more tolerant of uncomfortable things. Life is a lot harder when you look for an easy life and so much more easy when you are prepared for a level of discomfort. If you don’t sacrifice for your dream, your dream becomes your sacrifice.
5. Clarify what you truly value. Write it down, shout it from the rooftops. Get clear on what you want. If you really want to be an entrepreneur then act like it. If you are moaning daily on Facebook and doing nothing daily to build a business how can you call yourself an Entrepreneur?. There are plenty of fake people around, living fake lives, don’t be one of them.

I hope this post gave you some value. If it did do me a favour and leave me a comment below. Let me know if you self sabotage or how you’ve overcome self sabotage. I’d love to know and you will help with the ranking of this post by commenting.

All the best

Keith

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