Noisy neighbors can turn the nicest home in the world into a place where you would seriously consider taking up playing the bagpipes.

I know because I’m currently experiencing the joys of neighbor noise myself. Once you’ve noticed it, every thump, television, door slam, and mysterious midnight bang seems to get louder.

The temptation, of course, is retaliation.

If they’re making noise at midnight, perhaps 6:30 a.m. would be an excellent time to introduce them to your new collection of Scottish marching bands.

Unfortunately, this is how wars begin.

Fight Noise With Noise

One of the simplest things I’ve discovered is sound masking.

I’ve been using an app called Sleep Sounds on my phone. You can choose sounds such as waves, wind, and birdsong. I’ve found that having a continuous, pleasant sound in the room can do a surprisingly good job of masking noises coming from the apartment below.

Another option I’ve discovered is the LectroFan EVO. Available in most countries. It isn’t technically noise cancelling. Instead, it produces 22 non-looping sounds, including white, pink, and brown noise, fan sounds, and ocean sounds, designed to mask distracting background noise. Adaptive Sound Technologies

I’d try the cheap or free solutions first. Your phone, a fan, earplugs, or noise-cancelling headphones may be enough to restore your sanity.

Make Your Home Harder for Noise to Invade

If the noise comes through a shared wall, try moving your bed or favorite chair away from it. A large bookcase filled with books against that wall may help, as can rugs, heavy curtains, carpets, and soft furnishings.

But beware of those little foam “soundproofing” panels you see online. Many acoustic panels are designed primarily to reduce echo within your own room, not magically stop your neighbor’s subwoofer coming through the wall.

Proper soundproofing can involve additional plasterboard/drywall, insulation, sealing gaps, or isolating ceilings and walls. That’s when things start getting considerably more expensive.

Try Diplomacy Before Calling in the Cavalry

Sometimes neighbors simply don’t realize how much noise travels.

A friendly conversation during the daytime may solve the problem. I’d strongly recommend not having that conversation at 1:30 a.m. while wearing pajamas and looking like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

If that doesn’t work, start keeping a simple noise diary. Record the date, time, type of noise, duration, and how it affected you. If you’re renting, contact your landlord, building manager, or managing agent.

When It’s Time to Get Serious

In England, your local council must investigate complaints that could amount to a statutory nuisance — broadly, noise that unreasonably and substantially interferes with the enjoyment of your home or is harmful or potentially harmful to health. Councils can investigate statutory nuisance at any time, with additional provisions covering excessive night noise between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m. GOV.UK

Report a noise nuisance to your council

In America, rules vary by city and state, so check your local noise ordinance. Depending on where you live, complaints may go through your landlord, property manager, HOA, local code enforcement, or a city reporting service. New York City, for example, accepts residential complaints about loud music, banging, pounding, and furniture moving through 311. NYC311

Peace Is the Objective

The aim isn’t to defeat your neighbors. It’s to get your home back.

Start with the easy fixes. Mask the noise. Talk to them. Keep records. Escalate only when necessary.

Because nobody should be lying awake at 1:37 in the morning wondering whether the people downstairs are moving furniture, practicing Riverdance, or disposing of a body.

Have a peaceful day!

Keith