Wave Goodbye To Rejection: How to Flip a ‘No’ into a ‘Yes’, Every Time!

One of my favorite films of all time is “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey, who plays the leading role. Not only is it funny but it carries a lot of life changing messages throughout the film, the main message being that if you say “Yes” more often, your life will change, hopefully for the better.

Of course, a lot of this is obvious, but I wonder how many of us put this into practice. If we are really honest with ourselves, would saying yes more often have improved our lives more? Living life in regret is not nice and regretting the things we could have done and should have done is far worse than doing things and not succeeding in them. At least you tried.

Life is short, many people wished they could have travelled more, seen more and done more only to have found that old age stepped in and decided their fate for them.

Anyway, I digress.

The theme of this post is about overcoming the No’s, so that you yourself can get a lot more yeses from others. No’s are like a brick wall, whereas yeses are more like an opening door. I don’t know about you but I prefer a life full of open doors rather than a life full of brick walls. One of the most common steps to any success in life is overcoming the word “No”.

Some people are forever hitting their head against a brick wall,. Saying “No” a lot to opportunities is one of the main reasons.

How To Overcome The Dreaded NO?

First of all, recognise that most people are programmed to say no. A UCLA survey from a few years ago reported that the average one year old child hears the word, “No”, more than 400 times a day. I don’t know if I heard that many but I certainly grew up hearing the word “no” a lot more than the word “yes”.

At first, “No” is designed to keep us out of trouble, as kids we get our fingers, toes and faces into just about everything. This is all part of growing up. Unfortunately, hearing so many “No” also sets us up for a life of caution, this involves being risk-adverse and defaulting to the word “No”.

The best way to stay as you are is to just say “No” to everything.

Now, don’t get me wrong, in some cases, no should mean no, in a male-female situation where the heat of the moment takes over and a woman says “no” that should mean “no”.

How do you see the word “No”, this is important. I see “no” as a challenge, not as the final frontier. Except in certain circumstances (as previously listed), getting people to change from a “No” to a “Yes” is often a case of providing more information that meets that person’s needs. For instance, “What exactly do you need from me in order for this to go ahead”?.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life, I’ve heard “No”, only to hear “Yes” a little while after of giving someone more information. “No”, is often your fault. Clarify why a person should say “Yes” and some will. Note: You can’t win every situation.

Why People Default To “No”

Getting a life full of yeses requires determination on your part and not letting the first “No” deter you. I never see “No” as final, I only see it as the other person taking a pause. Some people say “No” to get more information before committing to you, others are always ultra cautious and don’t say yes a lot anyway.

If I apply for something online, and my first application is turned down, I always re-apply. Sometimes, people say no just to see how determined you are. I used to do this with jobs when I was younger, if I really wanted a job and I got turned down, I would reapply shortly after, of course this won’t work in most cases, but in some cases it does, and those cases would have been lost if you had accepted the first “No”

This is my whole philosophy in life. Say “Yes” more to opportunity, and you will see more. The more you say “No”, the more the universe will give you to say “No” to, of course this also works in reverse.

And when you get presented with a “No”, look upon it as just a pause, ask for more information so that you can present a better presentation and get a “Yes” , after all, “Yes” also opens more doors for the person who is currently saying “No”.

I hope you got value from this post. If you did, do give it a share and leave a comment below.

Have a great day

Keith

P.S If you want to get more people to open up to you and say “Yes” check out this blog post: “The Art Of Persuasion”