Keith Everett
self doubt

Overcoming Self-Doubt: Building Confidence One Step at a Time

What exactly is self doubt? – it’s a lack of faith in oneself : a feeling of doubt or uncertainty about one’s abilities, actions, etc. plagued with/by self-doubt.

I know what you’re thinking “I’m just not a confident person”, it runs in my family.

I’m here to tell you, confidence has nothing to do with your family or your DNA in any way.

In fact, self-doubt, or a lack of confidence comes in two flavours, there is the permanent one, which is just a continuous lack of belief in yourself and then there is the temporary one, this could be a one time scary event or losing confidence because of a recent event, maybe a partner has said something that’s caused you to lose confidence in yourself.

In this post I’m going to attempt to re-energise and re find that lost confidence.

Self-doubt is a common hurdle on the journey to personal growth and success. It often acts as an inner critic, whispering that you’re not good enough or capable of achieving your goals. However, the key to overcoming self-doubt lies in building confidence incrementally, taking it one step at a time. This is a marathon, not a sprint

Embrace Self-Awareness:

The first step in conquering self-doubt is by acknowledging it. Understand that everyone experiences moments of uncertainty, but these moments don’t define your capabilities. Practice self-awareness by recognizing when self-doubt creeps in and the specific situations triggering it. Self-Doubt is transmitted subconsciously to others, this then makes the situation worse.

For instance: When having a Job interview, if you doubt your ability, the interviewer can easily pickup on the signs. Your body language is probably giving you away.

Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Once aware, challenge those negative thoughts. Ask yourself if they are based on facts or assumptions. Often, self-doubt stems from irrational fears. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For instance, replace “I can’t do this” with “I am capable, and I will learn and grow.” There are thousands upon thousands of positive books & audios out there.

By cutting out the negativity of negative friends and negative TV programs (The News), you can reduce the negativity coming into your brain daily. Even a break from social media can at times reduce this.

Set Realistic Goals:

Setting achievable goals is crucial for building confidence. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Each accomplishment, no matter how small, contributes to a sense of achievement. Celebrate these victories to reinforce positive feelings about your abilities. Don’t wait to achieve big goals to celebrate, step by step celebrate your successes.

Seek Feedback and Learn:

Constructive feedback is a powerful tool for growth. Instead of fearing criticism, view it as an opportunity to improve. Seek feedback from mentors, peers, or friends. Constructive criticism is not a reflection of your self worth but a guide for refinement.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset:

Developing a growth mindset is instrumental in overcoming self-doubt. Understand that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. Embrace challenges as opportunities to learn, and view failures as stepping stones toward improvement. Always remember, your self-worth is not your net worth, often people judge themselves by the size of their bank accounts or by the successes of friends. This is not a good thing, don’t compare yourself to others, your life is different from theirs.

Often or not, people’s successes have taken years. Comparing your life to others can often bring on a feeling of lack and disappointment. Work at your pace and don’t worry about others.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Confidence is often built outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to try new things, take on responsibilities, and embrace uncertainty. Each step outside your comfort zone strengthens your belief in your ability to navigate unfamiliar territory. Get familiar with and comfortable with the uncomfortable. Most of the magic in life comes from outside of your comfort zone.

Visualization and Positive Affirmations:

Visualizing success and repeating positive affirmations can reshape your mindset. Envision yourself achieving your goals and focus on the emotions associated with success. Positive affirmations, when repeated consistently, gradually replace self-doubt with self-assurance.

Build a Support System:

Surround yourself with a positive and supportive network. Share your aspirations and fears with friends, family, or mentors. Having a support system provides encouragement during challenging times and reinforces your belief in your abilities. [This is probably one of the most positive groups on Facebook]

Learn from Role Models:

Identify role models who have overcome adversity and achieved success. Study their journeys, learn from their experiences, and understand that everyone faces challenges. Knowing that successful individuals have encountered self-doubt and persevered can inspire confidence.

Reflect on Past Achievements:

Reflecting on past achievements serves as a reminder of your capabilities. Create a list of your accomplishments, both big and small. When self-doubt arises, revisit this list to reinforce your track record of success.


Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous journey that requires patience and commitment. By embracing self-awareness, setting realistic goals, seeking feedback, cultivating a growth mindset, stepping out of your comfort zone, practicing visualization, building a support system, learning from role models, and reflecting on past achievements, you can gradually build confidence and silence the inner critic.

Remember, you have an absolute right to appear as good as anyone else in this life. No one has the franchise on being right and you are a wonderfully unique person.

We all lose confidence from time to time, and we all feel a bit stuck. For things to change, you need to change, do it step by step, take a long hard look at your environment – are the people you speak to daily serving you, or causing you a disservice?. Do you feel unworthy?, why?. Take stock of the good events and keep reviewing them and if their aren’t any… create some..

We all only have a certain amount of time on this planet. Make the most of it, go out and create the best life ever, if it all looks hopeless.. it probably isn’t, find a way.

I hope you got some value from this post, if you did, please do leave a comment below and give it a share.

Have a great day


P.S This is a great book on Self-Love and Self Confidence from an Author friend of mine, although it’s aimed at women, it’s also suitable for men

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